From our neighbours The Old Rockers ( www.theoldrockers.co.uk ) further news from a parallel existence.

If sometimes you feel that people are doing their best to wind you up it won’t be any consolation to know that in the sparkly world of dance floors, there are hobgoblins whose sole purpose is to discomfit the DJ.  Their standard gambit is to ask for a ridiculously esoteric track – probably a title which they’ve invented – and respond very negatively when told of its unavailability.

Other rib-ticklers include

“I don’t know who sings it and I don’t know the name of the song, but it goes like this…”

“Everybody will dance if you play it”

“What’s coming up next?”

“Play it soon because we’re leaving”  (or “But I missed it – play it again”)

…all of which are drawn from Mike Silverman’s website “Annoy the DJ”  ( http://www.djmikesilverman.com/documents/41.html ) which we should emphasise is sympathetic to DJs but does offer new material to the hobgoblins who tend not to be the sharpest knives in the drawer.

We’re inclined to the view that to avoid apoplectic seizures it’s probably better to be a Homesitter than a DJ.